I see a lot of teenagers falling for the “I’m a Gazan and need help getting out.” accounts too.

I guess, desire needs to be reciprocal for me.

I later found a lot of enjoyment in entering gay “cruising” culture as passing man. It’s that same impersonal, focused on just the pleasure and not the meaning - but without the power dynamic and pretense. I say, this is what I want, he agrees, and then a fun time is had by all.

I think the difference between say, sex as work and making food as work - I don’t really need to care or like the person who makes my food. There’s not an incentive for them to participate in something that can be physically painful or uncomfortable and then even pretend to be enjoying it through that pain. A lot of workplaces do force you to pretend in similar ways - don’t Chikfila employees have to say “my pleasure” or something - but pretending while dissociating in the act does fuck with your head in unique ways I think.

Working in Nevada or the Netherlands might be different. I guess when legalized, maybe you can say “slow down” or press a button for help when they take off the condom. I’ve only lived my life of course.

I do have some professional help, but don’t live in an area where the mental health needs of transexual former hookers are particularly accommodated for.

The double bind too is that people think when illegal things happen that they get stopped, so they don’t believe that the illegal things are even happening. So many levers of justice - in the US at least - are really determined by one’s ability to get access to a lawyer or the ever increasing rarity of getting sympathetic news coverage.

There is no justice, and then no one believes you. If the gaslighting brings you to mental illness - even more justification to pretend these things aren’t happening.

Didn’t she get pregnant twice to avoid prison?

It’s kind of funny (the sad kind of funny) that people with years of legal studies and experience have to meet and formally rule that something blatantly illegal to the point of stupidity is… well… illegal.

Well yeah - that’s how it works. If you don’t care about law and rules you just do shit. The people who enforce the rules have to follow them and go through processes - and by gum that’s time and work! (And who wants to do work? Definitely none of the judges and lawyers I’ve met lol)

If they imminent domain your house to build a turnpike to siphon off money to foreign investors - that’s on you to put the time and effort into fighting it. If they run voucher programs and charter school scams that benefit their friends - well, they have other friends who often are the ones supposed to enforce the rules. They act, you have to pull yourself together and react. How can you fight an illegal eviction if you’re too busy trying to find a new place to sleep?

It’s that old idea that the state has a monopoly on violence.

Are you sure it’s not just the women you’re having sex with are faking their orgasms?

Like, penetrative sex does not lead to orgasm for the majority of people with vaginas. You have to stimulate the clitoris. If you aren’t doing that - they probably are faking to get you to be done with it.

I’ve never met women concerned about dick size - being a “size queen” seems to be more of a thing for gay men. I don’t think there’s a lot of variation in feeling in a vagina for anywhere in the 4-7 inches range.

The attitude that all women are whores and that all sex is transactional seems sad to me. I had men say that to me when I was in the trade, and that was the kind of thing that contributed to it being hellish and unpleasant. I like the idea that sex is something people do because it’s fun and makes them feel good, not that it’s some sort of asymmetrical and hostile game.

I guess, it’s something that I have extremely complicated feelings about and severe trauma associated with. “Roses” on CL were kinda essential at a point in my life, and I’ve wondered what the other party got out of it.

Idk - like tons of men will “stealth” you. Or they’ll pressure you into not wearing condoms when they know you’re desperate.

Maybe this is trauma dumping I’d like to be retroactively humanized by a “john” a bit. But I’m just not sure how common it is not to be ultimately traumatized at the other end of things. This is not to be a “SWERF” - but what’s the difference between a human and one of these robots?

Edit: maybe a story more aligned to positive feelings towards “Johns” - the older man who saw that my tires were deflated and brought out a pump to fix it. He liked a thing I don’t but isn’t abnormal. Tolerable but not “enjoyable.”

The others are hard to balance it out against. Perhaps a consequence of not having a “Nordic model” or legalization. But also the kind of thing that often make it hard to think rationally. This is why I’m deeply empathic to Dworkin.

Former sex worker - what’s the appeal?

It’s basically impossible to do full service work without being severely traumatized. I guess I don’t have to pay for sex since I like men - no matter what age sex gender race what the fuck ever there’s a guy within 10 miles that’ll stick their dick in you - but I guess I don’t see the appeal of sex that my partner isn’t enjoying.

Also Micheals!

Please do not help the Green family further destroy Oklahoma, our democracy, and Biblical history (fun fact - their Museum of the Bible is stocked with artifacts plundered during the Iraq War. Someone else got them with some fake Dead Sea Scrolls - one of them of course with the anti-gay “clobber passage”)

Let me guess - TERF?

Yeah - there are a shit ton of Joker’s epic boners.

Also a lot of funny stuff with Superman and Jimmy Olsen. The Bronze Age is… something.