“no surprise” won’t be here tomorrow
I can’t believe they made it thru till today
The budget cuts have left them empty and hollow
I know in time we’ll find this is no surprise
The hospital we used to go
What bills will come? No one knows.
Elon musks left us high and dry
I know in time we’ll find this is no surprise
Maybe a good parent. Definitely the worst “girlfriends dad” any of her boyfriends ever met. I never needed to clean a gun when meeting them to be intimidating.
I can’t start with my personal favorite with no context. So I’ll start with Zach:
Zach: All three of us were shopping at Walmart. Rachael wanted to prank him by ditching him and pretending we turned invisible. Silly I know. He called her cell and she explained we were still in the isle just invisible. He asked (on speaker btw) “then what am I doing right now?” I replied “waving your hands around like an idiot”
my personal favorite. A heavyset boy I never saw again: I was just getting in from work. the boy said “I heard a lot about you, and your jokes. Don’t worry nothing you can say will offend me” I accepted the challenge with “nice Spider-Man shirt. I like how legs give your boobs wings” I didn’t even break stride as I said it. Never saw him again, and I heard he never wore that shirt again.
Joey the possessive jerk: I go out to smoke at like 10 and he’s standing there. “Joey… Racheal said she needed space, this doesn’t look like space. Why are you here” he replied “I’m not leaving until I talk to her”. I laughed. I couldn’t even be mad at the poor heartbroken boy… But still I replied “do you have money for an Uber or do I need to call you one” sheepishly he answered “I got money…” “Good. Call them from the park. Get the fuck off my porch” that boy was a jerk. A couple more jokes I told him "I don’t even know you two were dating for the first year. I thought you were a cupholder " and “youre the only person I’ve met who can startle someone mid-conversation ‘SHIT, sorry joey. Forgot you were there… talking to me…’”
Lastly Edrick. I kinda like him. We were at the beach and Rachael went to get something she forgot from her car. “Edrick why don’t you go help Rachael?” He replied “she’s got it. I thought we could hang out and talk” I answered “the only thing we have in common, just went back to the car. We have nothing else to talk about. Go join your girlfriend”
Edit: to be clear I’ve told all the boys if they end up getting married we can be best friends. Young love comes and goes. I have no desire to be friends with someone who might be gone tomorrow.
This reminds me of my daughter when she was in highschool. She’s 23 now.
I picked her up day and she seemed frustrated.
I asked what was wrong.
She said “Zach (her best friend) said he had a crush on someone”
Me: and you’re jealous?
Her: no! I don’t care! He can have a crush on whoever he wants. He won’t even tell me her name. He just said it starts with an R and has 6 letters!
Me: Racheal … It’s you… And he clearly doesn’t know how to spell your name. He has a crush on you.
Her: OMG!
Me: go ahead. I’ll wait here
And she rushes out of the car to go talk to him.
Depends on the hike. Sometimes I hike to where my phone is charging because I feel it’s charged long enough and I don’t want to spoil it. It should be as tired as I am. 20 percent? You’re more charged than I am get your ass over here.